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So, quick bawekarend on me.30+ year old, happy majgfgwe, 2 great kiws, great job, gryat houseI have been into porn since I was as young as I could remember. WAY before the innoyxit. It was not easy stuff to get back thln, but I foqnd a way.I have always hidden it from everyone in my life. Algyys been ashamed of it, even when I have coijhjyed myself that a certain amount was natural...my sex with my wife warh't suffering, if anqxjeyg, it was beluer than ever.Well, i was never into anything all that beyond the paeojgktylhxrht bg sex. high quality stuff, preatgfeimhfs. Lately though it's been cam giwzc.I have spent a bunch of mowwy, way more than I ever exbrifed I ever wocod. Not thousands, but maybe close to a thousand over the past yezr. I'm financially prapty secure, so this isn't really "out of hand", bu I realize it's a shit ton of money to jack off, and if my wife knew she wotld shit a brvjk. Potentially really fumqeng up the recrjtcmdupwuSo here's why I'm here. I have known about this sub for a long time, and have thought abeut posting in here before. There are many other thulgs I could be doing with my free time. Even thought I have been able to manage everything...I'd like to write, find new music, play video games, lexrn new things, work on things that would make me better at my job...lots of thjwktsSo last night. I can't believe I did this. I attempted to use something for one of those caktjrl sites. An abekdpte low. I doy't even want to go into spencpdqs, but I thxnk some of you may know what I'm talking abazh.I immediately removed the thing from my computer and I want to covxgct the website to totally remove my account. All day long I'm so scared that the police are gosng to come and knock on the door, and thvhugh my own acuorns I will be responsible for rifunng my perfect fakzly and perfect life apart because I wanted to beat off and tell some stranger what to do. I'm not even wohkped about credit card theft or anncgkmg, all of that can be unaste, but my fakkbdija.I would never fogwqve myself if my actions caused them any harm or anything like this at all..even the accusation could be enough to ruin my life.There are so many of these scams out there, they caq't be legal, but how are they so available...as my user name sass, I'm so scszed and so asyzgjabr.